Charged Up

I am a nasty troll, but I just couldn’t help it.

Good day,
I’m Lawrence by name, I am interested in your advert and i would
like to ask some details concerning this item before proceeding with the
payment.
1. How long have you owned it?
2. Have you owned it from new? If not how many previous owner?
3. Why are you selling it?
4. In your opnion, what sort of condition is it?
5. Any available photo?
6. Last Price?
So, your response to these required information would be highly
entertained before proceeding to the next stage. The method of payment  is
Cheque.   Kindly email back, if it’s still forsale.
Regards.

Hmmm…

Dear Lawrence,

To answer your questions:

I have owned the car for 475 years. I bought it second hand from a man named Gandalf. I am selling it because it is accursed. In my opinion it is in a critical condition. There are no photos because it is a vampire car and doesn’t show up on film. My last price is the price of your immortal soul.

I am happy with a cheque, although for delivery of your soul to me obviously you will need to be physically present. If these terms are acceptable, please email me back.

Regards,
Senior Detective Constable Pollitt

Right, that’s got rid of him. Oh, hang on, here we go…

Thanks very much, as a complete business man, i do believe that “Time”
is money is every  transaction with prospective seller and buyer in
market.

So let me have your direct full name ,mailing address for
payment,phone number and logistics as usual.

I will pay you as agreed by   4.500 Pounds in good terms with
additional 3,300 Pounds  , which will be for shipment logistics in
total of 7,800 Pounds on certified UK payment check.

Treat all shipment with priority is deserve with your co-operation
with the Shipment agent, that will receive the Balance of  3,300
Pounds………..okay..

Regards.

Perhaps I was being too oblique…

Hi Lawrence –

Certainly:

Cheque Fraud Department
Thames Valley Police
Headquarters
Oxford Road
Kidlington
Oxfordshire
OX5 2NX

I look forward to receiving your cheque.

Regards.

Of course, based on the last response, I’ll probably get a call from the cops telling me a cheque’s turned up for me.

By the way, just in case anyone thinks I was being astonishingly rude this is a well-known scam. I’ll probably still go to jail for impersonating a police officer, though.