Charged Up

Taking Things for Granted

November 27, 2009 · Leave a Comment

I tend to be an optimist. I’ve had some pretty shitty things happen to me in my life, and sometimes I’ve found myself in a tight corner, but on the whole, things have tended to work out. Not always the way I’d planned or expected, but nevertheless I find myself some weeks or months later in a different place. Hard to say if that’s the cause or effect of my optimism.

Nonetheless, I take it for granted that things, on the whole, improve. I take it for granted that there’s a way out, a solution of some sort, even if it’s not the one I envisage at the time.

And this, strangely enough, is a useful tool for my work in developing software. We programmers tend to be an obsessive bunch. We like to have it all worked out before we do the next bit. My personal demon is that once I’ve thought of an optimisation, I physically can’t implement any new features until I’ve gone back and refactored everything. It’s like deciding halfway through laying the tiles in your bathroom that actually, yes, underfloor heating would be a much more elegant solution, and ripping out all the tiles, jack-hammering up the concrete, laying that underfloor heating, then re-pouring all the concrete, re-laying the tiles and then, only then, even thinking about looking in the Philippe Starck catalogue.

Ha – that just reminded me of a friend of mine who bought a kitchen and they forgot to sell him any drawers. For the cutlery. Not pants.

Anyway, yes – taking things for granted. At various times I’ve had the joy of running teams of developers, and without exception they have been delightful, intelligent, curious and engaging people. However it must be said that they share a tendency to obsess about problems for which they do not yet personally have a solution.

An example: I remember working with a very smart chap who had the job of implementing an application, part of which involved a serial control protocol for a piece of video equipment. He was convinced that the protocol prohibited the sending of instructions to the VTR which would cause it to pre-roll with frame accuracy. I became aware of this conviction when, after three weeks, none of the rest of the application had been started. His conviction had caused him to lose faith in the final goal, and he had been largely procrastinating because, like, what’s the point of building the rest of the app if it’s doomed to failure anyway, right?

I said to him that surely we could take it for granted the protocol did in fact allow for this feature because we could observe VTRs prerolling with frame accuracy under this same serial protocol by the VTR operators in our own video facility every day?

He blinked. Then he went back to his desk and solved the problem that afternoon.

Now this chap was smart, like I say. He was a great programmer, but he was lousy at the big picture. Not an uncommon description when it comes to developers, and I include myself. The solution, I strongly suggest, is just to take more for granted. Look around, see what other people are doing. If it looks like a solved problem, take it for granted that you, too, will solve it.

It’s very easy for obsessive people to go down a rabbit hole, and good developers are by nature obsessive. Sometimes, you just need to back the truck up, park it, and move on to something else.

And inevitably that something else will be far more important to your users.

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Those magnificent, but not really all that funny, men in their flying machines

November 12, 2009 · Leave a Comment

Found this gem today. Funny air traffic controller quotes:

As a controller at a small busy airport in Florida, my story is about a student pilot talking to ground on an IFR morning (IFR means Instrument Flight Rules, necessitated by cloudy skies). At the time the transmission was made, there was an 800 foot ceiling (of cloud) with 2 miles visability in a light mist. Here is the communication – Student pilot: Ground, this is N12345 student pilot, and my instructor wants to know what the height of the ceiling is in the tower. Ground Controller: Cessna 12345…it’s about eight-and-a-half feet. There was then a pause in which both an Eastern pilot and a National pilot made similar comments. The student pilot came back on the radio. Student pilot: OK.. my mistake.. what is the reported weather ceiling at this time? Ground Controller: 800 overcast.

ROFL! Oh oh but wait, there’s more:

From ‘an aircraft mechanic’, Jan 2008 – My instructer for My A&P (Airframe and Powerplant) training told a funny story from the 1980s… He had landed in Egypt to refuel the Gulfstream he was flying. On take-off he noticed a guard standing in what looked like a refrigator box. With the the guard behind him my instructer goosed the throtles – which sent the guard head over heels for about 20 yards…

LMAO! Oh (wipes eyes) those _guys_!

OK, so they’re not all bad:

A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down. San Jose Tower noted: “American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport.”

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Apple Tablet

October 5, 2009 · Leave a Comment

Here’s my prediction: it’s not a tablet, it’s a TV. A thin-profile wall-mounted TV running iPhone OS. Integrated gaming platform via AppStore-delivered games.

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Audio

September 15, 2009 · Leave a Comment

  1. Iain Banks’ new novel Transition is available as a podcast (abridged) here [iTunes link]. I’ve been listening to it and it’s certainly good enough to make me go and buy the book. Not that I have yet. But I will. In fact, maybe I’ll stop listening to this podcast so I don’t spoil it.
  2. My excellent friend Mr Jones has supplied me with one of these:

Maschine

I’m enormously embarrassed to say that it is still in its packaging under my desk. However! This weekend I shall extract it and irritate my wife with phrase-based sequencing.

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The Maker’s Schedule and the Manager’s Schedule

July 30, 2009 · Leave a Comment

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Timecode Commander

July 27, 2009 · Leave a Comment

Just released a new version of Timecode Commander. This version includes a GUI, so you can choose between command-line or your modern, funky mouse-operated control. Also vastly improved speed of operation and dealt with some memory leaks.

Click here to view the product page and download a free trial version. The full version is $249.00.

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Constable Pollitt from the Fraud Squad Here

July 27, 2009 · Leave a Comment

I am a nasty troll, but I just couldn’t help it.

Good day,
I’m Lawrence by name, I am interested in your advert and i would
like to ask some details concerning this item before proceeding with the
payment.
1. How long have you owned it?
2. Have you owned it from new? If not how many previous owner?
3. Why are you selling it?
4. In your opnion, what sort of condition is it?
5. Any available photo?
6. Last Price?
So, your response to these required information would be highly
entertained before proceeding to the next stage. The method of payment  is
Cheque.   Kindly email back, if it’s still forsale.
Regards.

Hmmm…

Dear Lawrence,

To answer your questions:

I have owned the car for 475 years. I bought it second hand from a man named Gandalf. I am selling it because it is accursed. In my opinion it is in a critical condition. There are no photos because it is a vampire car and doesn’t show up on film. My last price is the price of your immortal soul.

I am happy with a cheque, although for delivery of your soul to me obviously you will need to be physically present. If these terms are acceptable, please email me back.

Regards,
Senior Detective Constable Pollitt

Right, that’s got rid of him. Oh, hang on, here we go…

Thanks very much, as a complete business man, i do believe that “Time”
is money is every  transaction with prospective seller and buyer in
market.

So let me have your direct full name ,mailing address for
payment,phone number and logistics as usual.

I will pay you as agreed by   4.500 Pounds in good terms with
additional 3,300 Pounds  , which will be for shipment logistics in
total of 7,800 Pounds on certified UK payment check.

Treat all shipment with priority is deserve with your co-operation
with the Shipment agent, that will receive the Balance of  3,300
Pounds………..okay..

Regards.

Perhaps I was being too oblique…

Hi Lawrence –

Certainly:

Cheque Fraud Department
Thames Valley Police
Headquarters
Oxford Road
Kidlington
Oxfordshire
OX5 2NX

I look forward to receiving your cheque.

Regards.

Of course, based on the last response, I’ll probably get a call from the cops telling me a cheque’s turned up for me.

By the way, just in case anyone thinks I was being astonishingly rude this is a well-known scam. I’ll probably still go to jail for impersonating a police officer, though.

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Updated price on my G-Wiz

July 24, 2009 · Leave a Comment

Price of my G-Wiz now £3,895.

Click here for full details.

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Help! Fox is sending flesh-eating robots after me!

July 17, 2009 · 1 Comment

A Maryland company under contract to the Pentagon is working to create a robot that eats dead bodies. It’s true. Robotic Technology Inc. is building a steam-powered robot that would fuel itself by gobbling up whatever organic material it can find – grass, wood, old furniture, even dead bodies.

They call it EATR, Energetically Autonomous Tactical Robot. The company’s Web site states, EATR “can find, ingest, and extract energy from biomass in the environment (and other organically-based energy sources), as well as use conventional and alternative fuels (such as gasoline, heavy fuel, kerosene, diesel, propane, coal, cooking oil, and solar) when suitable.”

[Fox News]

Astonishingly, despite such a reputable news outlet saying “It’s true”, actually it’s not true. In fact it’s bollocks.

[Update: Fox have revised their story]

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Venezuelan Beaver Cheese?

July 16, 2009 · Leave a Comment

Some coal. Credit: USGS

Some coal. Credit: USGS

THE POWER SECTOR

Around 50% of the annual emissions cuts between now and 2020 will be achieved by further greening of the electricity mix. We expect 40% of the electricity we use in 2020 to come from low carbon sources – 30% from renewables, the rest from nuclear (including new build) and clean coal. We need to all-but eliminate carbon from electricity by 2050.

[15 July 09 - Press Release - UK at forefront of a low carbon economic revolution, Department of Energy and Climate Change]

Part of yesterday’s announcement of the Government’s roadmap for achieving the 50% reduction in CO2 emissions (on 1990 levels) by 2050.

Like those ads for consolidating your credit card debt into one, easy-to-manage monthly payment, it sounds sort of sensible. 40% from “low carbon” sources. 30% from renewables. The dodgy bit is “the rest from nuclear… and clean coal” (my emphasis).

Just like Venezuelan Beaver Cheese, there’s no such thing as clean coal:

Coal is certainly an important fuel, providing just over half of the nation’s electricity. And progress has been made: new coal-fired plants are cleaner than old ones, and older plants that have been required under the Clean Air Act to install pollution controls are cleaner than the many plants that have managed to escape the law’s reach.

But coal remains an inherently dirty fuel, and a huge contributor to not only ground-level pollution — including acid rain and smog — but also global warming. The sooner the country understands that, the closer it will be to mitigating the damage.

["Collapse of the Clean Coal Myth", New York Times, Jan 2009]

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